This blog isn’t just about me. It is a collective, e-gathering space where I intend to share information with you about programs, projects and people who are doing great things. This blog provides me with an opportunity to e-serve and e-support. Please check out the pages; there are some interesting things posted now and there will be even more posted later…

At your e-service and with e-support.

(Al Jami)

Just something to consider.

I have had a scandalously affair with Jamaica and an on-again/off-again relationship with Puerto Rico.

I have been sneaking around with Syria. I was sending love letters to Turkey and was flirting with Jordan.

I was totally smitten with England and realized quickly that France wasn’t my type.

I am not woman enough for Morocco and I am still to childish for Ethiopia.

I have seen India from the corner of my eye and She is pretty attractive, but I am not interested.

Costa Rica and Honduras were great rebounds.

but, the truth is:

I am very much in love with Barbados!

And

if She will have me I will make an honest woman out of her

(…or She of me.)

*on bended knee with resume in hand*

Barbados, will you open a door so that I can estaslish my life with you?

Its been a moment.
A lot of time,
considerable distance,
impermeable silence
and deliberate separation.

A time of growth, reflection,
over-standing, and appreciation.

I have been completely distracted by my life.
Consumed with realities that relentlessly remind me
of what is important and what counts.

You were a wonderful reminder of what
I had allowed myself to forget.
Simple truths:
people are not to be collected;
detachment takes courage and moments
can feel like a life-time.

And, most importantly, to graciously release the moment when it is pass/ing/ed.

Thank you for sharing space/time
on mats and rugs; in silent dhikr
and vivacious kirtans.

I am grateful.

Be well.

but I was short on time, heavy with disappointment, rushed to resolution, loss for words, and feeling off-balance and slightly out-of-place. And thus unable to complete the cycle of my thoughts (oh, I am a muller… )

and so here we are… a few days later and I need to finish what I so courageously started… (courage is interesting – you used that wonderful adjective and I have claimed it as my reality, but in truth, I was so afraid to call… if only I had a heart sooner so much time would not have been wasted… )

PAUSE: I am a communicator, I am clear. I understand that words have power. Please take my words with love, take them with respect, take them with truth… Take my words and hold them as they are from my heart to your ears (and eyes)…But what’s done is done… and all moments are teachable moments and i learned an important lesson .. go to the source!

… however, i still feel a sense of responsibility; a need to firm up our foundation (cracks allow for mishaps to happen…). I want to use this medium to completely move us forward… and i don’t like that I – fail to confide; felt sheepish with communication, and offered a selective viewing of myself…

Caveat: I am only as strong as the G’d I believe in, the community I serve and the coffee i drink…. [internal viewing of me...]

..I am a complex woman with many many layers; some more obvious than others, some are implied and so are merely understood. So for the obvious, the not so obvious, the seen and the implied…

I am a mother, a wife, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a supporter, an advocate, an activist, an athlete, and lover of life and good coffee and all that is righteous (which includes good coffee). I am a seeker of knowledge, and a modest adrenaline junkie and a reformed loner.

I have been indignantly called a greedy bastard, angrily referred to as a fence sitter, sinister a converter (which actually makes me smile), and sadly, because it could be further from the truth called – confused.

None- the- less, I am the humble peacock – what I know I know and what I don’t know, I will learn it. I compete with only myself and I micromanage my time so that i can get the best of every single minute. I believe that if you don’t have anything good to say don’t say anything at all and I can keep a secret – forever!!!! I am entertained by the simplest things – good friends and their company, good food – potluck preferably. I am an avid reader and recently learned that sitting is the hardest “sport” ever. I believe in the oneness of G’d and I am proud to say I am a Muslimah**(Therein lies a whole other level of complexity…LOL… which we can save for good coffee, a Skype session or a longer email… LOL).

But none of that is special or news worthy… it doesn’t have enough grit…(…and you felt correctly. not because I was projecting, but because likened energy often is identified)

I am not afraid to love whomever gives love; I have learned that love is not restricted by gender, age, race or religion. I have had the honor and privilege of loving indiscriminately some amazing human beings. I do not prescribe to titles that box in or limit. I am a semi-open book – but have a heighten respect for privacy – (i will tell you all about me, but wont say a peep about someone else). I think I am truly fortunate to be me and strive to live my life to the fullest – free of regret and doubt. I want to revisit memories that will evoke genuine emotions and feel a healthy connection to them… And i want to positively impact the lives of those I encounter and to be humble enough to admit when I am wrong or have wronged someone.

I am a simply complex woman who doesn’t like the limelight and loves to stand behind the scene. I am a worker bee… And, I am a servant – to my community, to the ones I love and to the causes that make sense to me… I am far from perfect – i am imperfectly perfect and I am learning that sinners can be saintly. I live by the platinum rule – treat people the way they would treat themselves and expect people to do the same….

And forward we have moved… give thanks to the power of words and the ability to effectively communicate…. My friend, thank you for reading for comprehension, listening with pure intentions and receiving without adding or taking away…

Only good things…

The simple life of JB (Special thanks to Mama Zora and Sis. Morrison. And a very special and personal thank you to Shug Avery and Sula. G’d bless badassidontgivearatsasswomen!)

i am easy entertained good music (independent artist preferred), good food (pot luck please) good company (folks who love life, laughing and music and pot luck).

I am fluid (there is no secret life of a diva). Not mood swings or bouts of irritability.

I am understated and often underestimated (I am ok w these self-imposed and assumed adjectives. Nothing like the element of surprise!)

I am supportive by design (Give thanks) and realize the real power is behind the scenes. (And the glory is in the limelight and often the better pay – working on getting more and staying out of the spot light).

I am often the silent partner but can work a room and engage the best of the best (but I am a self-proclaimed snob – I think Cornell West and Bell Hooks are geniuses. And Tyler Perry… Well, we all need something right?)

I don’t lack a bit of confidence and have been fondly referred to as the humble peacock… I think everything in due time…

I am the girl next door (just a matter of which door you are near…)

But as of late, it has been brought to my attention that their are folks who are watching me, examining me, scrutinizing me and discussing there finds over coffee or tea, at br/lunch with friends and coworkers, at the water cooler the copier. Wow! I have become interesting.

My life has become news worthy. Wow! Confirmation that I must be doing something right… (At least that how it appears to me and my relative truth is all that I have…)

And then there are other times when this world becomes more than we can bear and the support beams don’t feel so supportive and the lovers are draining and the work is daunting and patience runs out and consideration is nonexistence and we are – exposed… vulnerable… head heavy… heart-broken… calloused even… jaded possibly… and sore… emotional, mentally, spiritually and sometimes physically too…

It is in the dark times when you without pause know that your sisters will carry you home (in their hearts) rub loving salve on your wounded heart and will cover you will love’s embrace. And, whisper in your hear a sweet prayer that will remind you that G’d, the Creator, The Universe, the Goddness, the Supreme Being, doesnt give you more than you can carry and when the load appears to be too large to balance single-handedly, support (sisters) are provided….

You are love personified and you give until you are depleted. You are one of the most selfless spirits I have ever known. With love and light you are supported. Trust that we wont let you fall. Trust that we wont let you fall. Trust that we wont let you fall…

So be …

Be self-posed. Be selfish. Be truthful. Be hurt. Be angry. Be disappointed. Be discouraged. Be uncertain. Be alone. Be indecisive. Be Quiet. Be confused. Be apathetic. Be present. Be prayerful. Be still.

And listed…..

Pray to ask for Divine instruction and direction. Mediate to receive the instruction and the direction.

You are here, in this place for a reason, be gentle with yourself… (below is my favorite prayer. I repeat it over and over when I am lost or confused. It’s like waving a white flag in surrender… here I am… please come get me… here I am… Please come rescue me from this place… here I am….)

Labbayk, Allahumma Labbayk! (Here I am oh Allah, here I am)

Lastly, Be confident in the knowing that we all love you and we all support you and we have all felt this heaviness that you are feeling and we will never let you fall…

In Solidarity!